On the 2nd of September, in the year of our Lord 2011, I celebrated the 24th anniversary of my birth. The evening was a ton of fun, and I was joined by friends both old and new (mostly old.)
We started out the evening in a little place called Ground Kontrol. Being both a bar and one of the best arcades in the nation (for preserving retro games, according to Wikipedia) it was the most natural place for me to celebrate my life thus far (read: extremely nerdy.) I don’t have much special to say about Ground Kontrol, except that I found many beloved games of my childhood and that it was loud. Don’t get me wrong, it was awesome. However, the adventures didn’t really start until we left for the next bar.
We wandered between the East and the West side for an absurd amount of time, before settling in a bar just a block away from where we had started. I came to it knowing only that I had a good friend working the kitchen that night. I very quickly realized that Hamburger Mary’s is indeed a drag bar. I could not have been happier. Soon a friend of mine from my grad cohort showed up (keep in mind that I was the only person there he knew. Makes it funnier.) Being a 6”4’ semi-gorgeous Brit, he was instantly singled out by the drag queens and forced on stage. He took it all in great stride, and before I knew it they had convinced this very straight man to deep throat a deep fried Twinkie infront of gay strangers. Beautiful.
The drag queens then questioned my friends on how the hell the Brit had been convinced to come, and that’s how they found out that it was my birthday. Predictably, I was also dragged on stage. No pun intended. Long story short, on my 24th birthday drag queens forced me to give a married, giant British man a lap dance on stage, and receive one from him in return. It was the perfect mixture of hilarious, fun and uncomfortable.